I was visiting with my dad at his home one day in September, 2014. It was a beautiful, bright sunny morning. The dew was still fresh on the ground. The leaves glistened on the trees, and the birds were singing their morning praises. Dad and I slowly strolled around his yard as we usually did when we were together.
This particular morning was no different. Quietly and without much purpose or direction, we both meandered through the yard, Dad in his boots and me in my most comfortable pair of grungy flip-flops, sipping a cup of hot coffee and reminiscing. As we passed through an area of the yard less traveled, I suddenly felt something engulf my big toe, almost as though I had scuffed my foot under a large leaf or glop of mud. It wasn’t heavy but I certainly had the sensation of a foreign object on my toe. As my brain registered this feeling of oddity, a deep sting penetrated my skin. In a split second, I looked down and caught a glimpse of something scurrying away beneath the wet grass. At that moment, the pain was so severe; I did not care what the culprit was that had just injected my body with its poison. My total focus became the horrible stinging and throbbing on my appendage.
In my lifetime, I have been stung many times by arthropods such as wasps, bees, and fire ants. While never pleasant to endure, I consider myself very tolerant of any of these bites knowing that within a few minutes, the burn subsides and life goes on. However, this time was unique. I was aware that I had experienced a new sensation that was so extreme compared to past bites and stings that all I could do was hold my toe and cry as though my tears were going to wash away the trauma. Rapidly my toe swelled and contained a noticeable red dot in the center of the bite.
Over the course of the past eleven months, I complained regularly to any family member and at times, an occasional friend who would lend an ear to the sad story about my poor toe. Because no one really seemed too concerned, I decided it was not worth a visit to the doctor. After all, I was still alive and girls who grow up in the country have a reputation of enduring more than most. Pride can be empowering! However, every time I wore a shoe, my toe ached and swelled. Recently, I grew weary of the discomfort. I decided that although the bite did not appear to be anything other than a raised dime sized circle on my toe, out of curiosity, I would use a needle to lance it. Lancing the bite certainly could not be a worse consequence than what I was already enduring daily.
Upon the first prick of the tiny needle, a substance began to emerge that was not normal. Words simply cannot describe what came forth. Disgustingly gross! It was obvious to me at that moment that my toe was filled with the poison from what must have been a venomous spider. Looking from the outside, I had no idea what was concealed within. As the poison oozed from the wound, I felt immediate relief.
I am constantly in awe and wonder by the different ways God gets my attention. He sometimes uses small, common, and at times very painful circumstances to teach me life lessons. I believe the Lord allowed me to carry the obtrusion on my toe and the poison within for all the many months in order that I might ponder the poison in my heart called sin. The spider bite was a poison to my body that was largely unseen by others as it was hidden beneath my shoe. Most people were unaware that the bite existed. However, the ache from the bite interfered with the way I walked, felt, interacted with others, and generally altered the way I lived out my daily life. Sin in my heart has the same effect as an ugly spider bite. Although unseen, sin hinders my relationship with God and others. Sin changes my countenance and how I view the world and myself. It is not until I lance the sin, by confessing it to the Lord, seeking His forgiveness, and allowing the poison to emerge, that I experience relief and renewed love for God and people, as well as renewed joy.