I called our oldest daughter, Lauren to tell her that her dad and I were leaving town.  We would be spending three days in downtown Chicago and then traveling to a suburb of Chicago called Shumburg, to attend Family Life Marriage Conference.  Our adult children are very familiar with Family Life Marriage Conferences.  As they were growing up, Bill and I would sign up for the two-day get-away conference about every five years as we have found it necessary to review every so often, why God has joined us together.  We have found the conference extremely helpful for reminding us of God’s unique design for marriage and that He in fact gifted us to each other; for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health, AND we are to like it and be happy about it, until death we do part! We have found the conference knocking us to our senses on more than one occasion. Family Life has been such a great tool for our marriage that when Lauren married her husband, Neil, we insisted on treating them to the conference weekend. We wanted to insure that they would start out on the right side of two-becoming-one.  On the day that I called Lauren, the conversation went something like this: “Your dad and I are going to Chicago for the Colliers real estate conference and then at the end of the week, we’ll attend Family Life.” Silence ensued on the other end of the line… after several seconds, Lauren quipped, “I hope you’re going as leaders and not repeaters.” I realized at that moment that she must believe that couples get to a point of “arrival” in marriage and in her mind, her parents should have arrived.  She and Neil, being married for six years, are obviously still in the early stage of, “to have and to hold”.

Arriving Friday evening, we entered the grand ballroom of the hotel where we proudly took our seats, front and center. There were over 400 couples in the room. As I scoped out the other couple participants, I took note of several “to-be married”, “just married”, “happily married for ten years or less”, and some “should have never married”. When the master of ceremonies asked for those married thirty years or longer to please stand, I fluffed my hair, straightened my tiara and stood with a straight back to receive the well deserved congratulatory applause. I turned to take my imaginary bow, my tiara sparkling. As I proudly faced the audience, I noticed only two or three other couples who fell into our age group.  My tiara began a slow slide from my gloating head.  If I had remembered my magic wand, I would have swirled it in the air, vanishing Bill and myself  from the room. With all eyes locked on us, I could only imagine the thoughts in the minds of these young couples who were the same ages as our children. Were they, like Lauren thinking that we belonged in the “should be graduates” group?  By all appearance, we did in fact fall into the same age category as the couple leading the weekend.

Family Life is committed to changing families, one marriage at a time. The conference touches on all the potential home wrecking topics such as: child rearing, submission, respect, and communication, just to name a few. This was our fourth time as attendees and we have found that with each conference, there is a new thought or idea that opens our eyes and catches our attention. I could only pray that this would be the case on this particular weekend if I was going to swallow my pride and rub elbow to elbow with this crowd of young marrieds.

As it happened, we shared our hotel with approximately one hundred very tall, capable high school basketball players. They were in Shumburg for a weekend basketball camp sponsored by Under Armor sport clothing. Under Armor’s marketing slogan is “Protect this House”.  Bill and I found this slogan more than fitting for our purpose of repeatedly attending the conference. We too want to “protect this house”, to build a strong marital foundation upon a rock, not sand, in order that we may leave a legacy of love and commitment for future generations.  C. S. Lewis said, “There are lots of things you can do with sand; but do not try building a house on it.”  We committed long ago to continually work together on the foundation of our marriage and family.  We see this work continuing until death we do part. Therefore, that meant overlooking age and overcoming the fact that we stuck out among the group of  young people.

Once we recovered from the initial shock of being the elders in the group, Bill and I settled in with the attitude that we would use the time to knock the rust off and affirm that we are in fact building our relationship on a solid foundation.  As by God’s divine appointment, the conference did in fact hit a few corroded spots in both Bill and me.  By the end of the second day, we were refreshed and  encouraged to have behind us some of the issues that the younger couples were just beginning to tread upon, which we also had addressed in the past, as well as some issues in our lives that have developed since becoming empty nesters.  The review was good for us.  We have a greater appreciation for our past and each other and are looking forward to the next thirty years.  At the end of the conference, we recommitted our lives to each other by reciting our marriage vows and determined that we are both prepared to be leaders, not repeaters.

Our second day in Chicago began much the same as the day before.  Bill would attend the real estate conference and I would soul shop.   Because of our tiny hotel room, I stayed in bed in order to give him space to dress.  As I lay there, thoughts of activity on the street consumed me.  He gathered his things and headed out for the day.  I jumped up, threw on my jeans, brushed my teeth, and slid once again into my most comfortable pair of flats because I knew for sure that I would be on a long journey as I hit the streets of downtown Chicago.  I did not want to be distracted by having to keep up with my purse so, I placed dollar bills in both front pockets of my jeans along with my room key and cell phone.  The anticipation of  possibly putting a name to the face of the woman whom I studied through the plate-glass window or the likes of her, gave me a sense of great joy and excitement.

I feel I must qualify myself by saying that God bestowed on me the gift of giving.  However, the gift was never fully awakened in me until one afternoon while driving our oldest daughter Lauren, then eleven to her dance class.  In the typical busyness of life, we ran several errands before pulling into the dance studio parking lot.  One of the errands was a quick stop at the grocery store for necessities of milk, bread, and randomly, a large bag of potato chips.  While our three children were growing up, I lived my days in a mad rush.  Hurrying was the norm as was tuning out anyone who may be in need except the immediate family around me.  Such was the case on this particular day.

After leaving the grocery store, running a few minutes late, I wheeled into the parking lot of the dance studio, expecting Lauren to jump out quickly.  To my complete surprise, she grabbed the bag of chips from the grocery sack and shoved them toward me and said, “Mom, give these to that man back there on the feeder road.”  I was stunned.  I had not even noticed a man on the feeder road.  I began to tell her why I should not give the bag of chips to the man on the feeder road.  Motherly lessons warning of impending dangers spewed from my mouth.  After all, had she not grasped the concept of “stranger danger” drilled into her over the years?   Persistently, Lauren insisted that I give the man the bag of chips and would not get out of the car until I gave her my word.  In an effort to get her into dance class, I relented with a begrudging promise to make the delivery.  With my promise held in her heart, Lauren happily gathered her things and closed the car door behind.

Inconvenienced and disgruntled by my daughter’s insistent demand, I made my way back around to the other side of the freeway feeder road which was in the opposite direction of home.   The intersection was very busy so I pulled off of the road.   At first glance, I did not see a homeless man and felt relief of possibly not making any contact with him.   The tension began to leave my body as I thought of pulling back onto the road when a glance to my left caught the man approaching my window.  My heart pounded in my chest with fear and utter disbelief with the thought that I was about to come eye to eye with a person of such despairing status.  I cautiously lowered my car window and insistently pushed the bag of chips toward him in the same way that Lauren had shoved it toward me.  Much to my surprise, a scraggly smile took over the man’s weary face as he delightfully accepted my small contribution.  As my hand released the potato chip bag into his hand, a scripture verse that I had read and heard since childhood took on life.  In the book of John 21:15-17, Jesus asked Simon Peter if he loved Him.  When Simon Peter responded, yes, Jesus said, “feed my sheep”.

“Good morning, my name is Wanda”.  She raised her head, looking up from her wheelchair, her frail hand reached up taking mine.   Her warm brown eyes had a depth that represented years of street survival.  “I’ve been unable to walk now for fourteen years.  I have a good roof over my head but I don’t get enough to eat.  I’m hungry”.  The last two words of her statement pierced my heart deeply –  “I’m hungry”.  Tears welled in my eyes as I released her hand and reached into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out a bill to drop into her cup.  In a quiet whisper she spoke the words, “God bless you”.  I gently patted her on the shoulder and said, “God bless you too, Wanda.”  Quickly turning with thoughts of inadequacy, I resumed my walk up the street.  Kind words and a few dollars would not be all that the Lord would require of me this time.  A block past the spot where Wanda sat, parked in her wheelchair, was a three-story mall with Macy’s as its anchor.  In haste, I darted into Macy’s hoping to escape the inner voice requiring more of my reserved spirit.  I rode the escalator to the second floor.  Directly in front of me as I stepped onto the second level was a food court crowded with professionals enjoying their freshly made lunches.  I paced back and forth from one food vendor to another wrestling with the all-consuming thoughts of Wanda.  Her eyes had permanently seared my memory and her words whispered repeatedly in my mind, “I’m hungry”.

After fifteen minutes of inward battle and several laps around the food court, I knew my assignment was to invite Wanda to be my guest for a warm meal.  The same arguments of impending danger that I used many years prior to this moment with Lauren surfaced as well as some arguments that were unique to the situation at hand.  After all, what would the employees and patrons of Macy’s think if they saw me wheeling this crippled beggar into the posh store? Jesus told Simon Peter to demonstrate his love for Him by feeding His sheep.  I located the elevator so that Wanda could get to the second floor of Macy’s. Resolving in my heart to be obedient to the words of Jesus, I proceeded outside to extend to Wanda my invitation to join me for lunch.